Going for Gold!

8 12 2008

Anyone who remembers the tragic Henry Kelly Euro quiz Going for Gold should recognise the format of…

Who am I?

I am a Party whose Headquarters has very been badly run. One of my senior figures said of my HQ management that “there were no clear lines of communication and endless duplication”.

Who am I?

I am a Party that fills very high-paying positions at HQ by closed process of appointment rather than via open selection. Almost nothing has been done to raise money via the internet.

Who am I?

I am a Party whose HQ is afflicted by a culture of secrecy and consequent lack of accountability – where mistakes have been repeated again and again over recent years.

Who am I?

I am a Party that’s been at the heart of politics in Ulster for over 100 years. My leader was trying desperately to make unionism look appealing this weekend. He shared a platform with a leader who has led his right-wing political Party for three years.

Who am I?

*Cue Euro buzzer* Erm… Mr Kelly. Are you the Ulster Unionist Party?

No, you big hippo-potaaaaamus, I’m… David Cameron’s all-new Conservative Party!!

*Cue Euro jingle, daft Euro wave to camera and roll Euro credits*

They’re so alike that UUP and Tory Party. Staff at Bobballs think this marriage really could last. Many happy returns chaps!

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3 responses

8 12 2008
Shuffling Geisha

The heat is on, the time is right,
It’s time for you, for you to play the game.
Cause people are coming, everyone’s trying,
Trying to be the best that they can,
When they’re going for… going for… GOLD!

I did so love that programme….

Anyway, speaking of HQs, didn’t the Tories recently fire 10% of their staff citing the credit crunch as their excuse?

The ever faceless party spokesperson said: “Like many organisations in the current economic climate, we need to look very carefully about how we are using our resources and, unfortunately, there is a need to make significant budget cuts.”

Perhaps pockets aren’t quite so deep

8 12 2008
8 12 2008
Staff at Bobballs

Ah, Going for Gold. That programme is all about having a nice cup of tea and a lovely fag after Neighbours when I shoulda been revising for my A Levels.

Good times.

Yes, all a bit drastic in CCHQ. For anyone interested in who’s in and who’s out at No10 or at Central Office, Staff at Bobballs recommend the excellent PR Week. http://www.prweek.com/uk

New revelations every bloody week.

But this all goes to prove one thing. The UUP absolutely did not enter into any agreement with Tories for any perceived financial perks.

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