Chuck Norris fights insomnia!

19 03 2009

Some people like to counter insomnia with warm milk and a banana. Me? I like to combat my insomnia with Chuck Norris!

So here goes: my definitive Top 10 Chuck Norris-isms…

  1. Chuck Norris once had a bachelor party. He ate the entire Cake before they could tell him there was a stripper in it.
  2. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  3. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
  4. Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
  5. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  6. Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.
  7. Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.
  8. Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
  9. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
  10. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Right. That’ll be me off to bed then…

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3 responses

27 03 2009
Shuffling Geisha

Is this your version of counting sheep?

30 03 2009
Staff at Bobballs

Some people use sheep to combat insomnia. I use Chuck Norris.

2 04 2009
shufflinggeisha

Disturbing on a number of levels

Btw Freddie is out to get you re your facebook rejection of him, I’d start checking your back seat, under your desk, under the stairs and anywhere else a psychotic little stuffed hedgehog might fit!

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