Escape from Ballymoney!

29 07 2009
Ballymoneys attracting a bad crowd nowadays

Ballymoney's attracting a bad crowd nowadays

Jeez, what the heck’s going on in Ballymoney?

There I am catching up with my weekly dose of hot news from my super soaraway Ballymoney Times when the following headlines leapt from the page and committed a veritable assault on the senses (in addition to the actual assaults I was reading about).

So here goes:

But the worst outrage for me is contained in the following deeply worrying headline:

Has anyone been to Ballymoney recently? Is it still there? Or has the editor just got extremely depressed and maxed out on all the very worst news s/he could find?

My advice – even Snake Plitskin would think twice about venturing into the badlands of Ballymoney at the moment. But definitely stay away from Quay Hall. That’s just fucking outrageous. No tea indeed.

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