High fives fellas… the Tottygraph’s got a health story!

22 09 2009

Roll up chaps! The Belfast Tottygraph has only just gone and sent temperatures phwoaaring yet again with its coverage of…the weather (nope!)… beach volley-ball (nah!)… Swedish naturism (inte!)… erm… wait for it… bowel cancer!!

As noted here, here and (yawn) here, the Belfast Tottygraph, erm, stands out among rival newspapers for its creative dexterity in how it associates pics with its news stories. Ah, who the heck am I kidding – sometimes it makes Hustler look as tame as a well-thumped Chihuahua.

So what’s happening today in the BT phews pages. Well, it’s the lead health story and the intro reads:

Sunbathing is known to cause skin cancer – but it may also help people survive when they get it, scientists are reporting.

Jeez, what a breakthrough!

Surely to illustrate a story of this seriousness a pic of a scientist or something might be okay (as below).

Well, maybe not. If not that then defo a diagram of the problem (as below).

Bowel cancer

Bowel cancer

Not very appealing. Well, what then? How then are we going to illustrate a breakthrough in the treatment of serious diseases such as skin cancer?

Erm… I know, why not publish 11 pictures of something approximating a Malibu beach wet t-shirt competition!!

Medicine!

phwoarr!

Science!

cwoarr!

Vitamin D!

phunarr!

Cancer!

whay hey!

Chemotherapy!

hummina-hummina!

Ever after, the words Belfast Telegraph and health story will be like a dog whistle to red-blooded chaps hungry for sun-soaked lovelies in teensy bikinis! Which is deplorable obviously.

So to conclude, does anyone remember what poor old Jeremy Laurance was writing about? What relationship do these pics have with that story? And is Larry Flynt moonlighting on the Tottygraph picture desk? (That can’t be ruled out, its clearly the hottest job in the country!)

So, from the Staff at Bobballs to the lager-swilling boys in La Belle Tel – keep up the great work chaps!

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4 responses

23 09 2009
Shuffling Geisha

Ah now Bobs, maybe time to send the staff back to hack school, surely they must remember the golden rule, that er, tits attract readers …. or maybe that was just a certain baldy lecturer at BIFHE

26 09 2009
bobballs

Pah! Staff at Bobballs go for the organ that’s packed full of the 3 F’s.

The 3Fs? Football, fighting and f**king. Oh yes.

So this month I will be mostly reading Closer and Grazia.

26 09 2009
Shuffling Geisha

And of course More Magazine whose dubious Position Of The Fortnight have kept their dubious selves in existance!

14 11 2009
La Belle Tel: organ boasts massive new column! « Bobballs!

[…] once said that The Belfast Tottygraph makes Hustler look as tame as a well-thumped Chihuahua (Balls! passim). And so it […]

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