There’s Wally!

1 02 2010

Jeffrey Donaldson in the Assembly Chamber earlier today

Congratulations to the NI Assembly and viewers of Stormont Live!! You all found Jeffrey ‘Wally’ Donaldson this afternoon and now qualify for an adorable Bobballs Carriage Clock. High fives population of Northern Ireland!

I hear that Wally was seen in the Assembly chamber this afternoon asking an oral question of the DoE Minister. I’ll be posting up fuller details on that amazing, earth-shattering political contribution as soon as Hansard allows me.

Anything to say on the P&J deal that’s being cobbled together right now? Anything at all? Just a word? No? Nothing? All right, in your own time big guy…!

PS. But my goodness Wally – you really foxed us there chum! Listen, you just bugger off again for a week or two – we’ll all try to find you again when we’re ready…

PPS. The Bobballs Finance Department now tells me that everyone who qualified for a Bobballs Carriage Clock has since been disqualified from receiving a Bobballs Carriage Clock. Bureaucrats, eh?

PPPS. Actually, bit of a stroke of luck that – supplying ornamental clocks to the population of Northern Ireland could have completely bankrupted us! Go, go crazy bureaucracy!!




2 responses

1 02 2010
Shuffling Geisha

Where’s my fricking carriage clock, I want it now, damnit, complaint to editor coming up, you hacks are going to be forced to whip yourselves a la Pope John Paul ….

”Several times he would put himself through bodily penance,” said a Polish nun, Tobiana Sobodka, who worked in the Pope’s Vatican apartments and summer residence. ”You could hear the sound of the blows when he flagellated himself.”

I want to hear lashings from Bobballs towers

1 02 2010

Erm… we’ve had a whip-around / been thoroughly whipped around and in an amazing turnaround it seems that the entire population of Northern Ireland has been disqualified, except Shuffling Geisha!

Many happy returns Shuffling Geisha… your ornamental Bobballs Carriage Clock – made of real leather and genuine asbestos – will be conveyed to you v shortly via lethal medieval ballista. The finance department warn that you should expect to ‘receive’ the clock any time this afternoon. Farewell then Shuffling Geisha…

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