Welcome to Fantasy Ireland!

15 11 2009

Richard McAuley and Gerry Adams on the set of their latest interview

Another one of those folksy, fantastical Adams interviews to the US media. This time it comes from the unputdownable Madison Eagle!

What a great intro!

After Adams “described a lifetime struggle to end deadly persecution and bring freedom to Irish Catholics in Northern Ireland”, someone asked him what if was like to get shot.

The first shot really hurt,” Adams said. “I was blessed with very incompetent assassins.”

(And, erm, some very special friends in Special Forces?)

This interview represents another one of those groovy, mind-bending journeys through history which Ger reserves for North American audiences. In fact it’s one of the best. The Madison Eagle is a long, long way from the Washington Times, so who could really take a pop at the newspaper. The problems in Ireland are a complex area so it’s natural to be led by your interviewee. And how!

There’s a lot of background to this piece – I wonder where it came from?

He (Adams) is credited with having worked closely with the British government in ending two decades of violence in Northern Ireland, commonly known as “The Troubles,” and with crafting a plan to extend freedoms in the north.

Could that have come from Gerry himself? Surely not!

Or what about this?

Spurred on by the American civil rights movement, he (Adams) became involved in a peaceful movement to end the subjugation of Catholics in Northern Ireland. But the peaceful campaign ended in January 1972 when the British Army opened fire… etc

Elsewhere the RUC are accused of carrying out “a campaign of violence against the IRA”.

And:

By 1976, the peace process had started, but it would not bear fruit for two more decades, largely because the British demanded the IRA give up its arms before talks could begin.

Okay. Maybe SF may look at this as a successful interview, but isn’t Gerry trading too hard on, erm, the asymmetry of information about The Troubles? He’s really stretching the truth beyond its elasticity. How will a SF narrative ever regain its shape if Gerry’s going to allow interviews like this? Shouldn’t Richard McAuley try to rein in the imagination of Gerry The Fabulist?

Some republicans here must surely be elbowing each other in the ribs and stifling guffaws when they read stuff like this. Good on ya Ger! Others must look at this and wonder how much trust can they invest in a person who can knowingly peddle such a misshapen and bent form of truth.

Perhaps during conflict anything goes – but when in the peace-building phase, personal credibility and reputation for fair-dealing among participants is important. Doesn’t Gerry’s credibility suffer when he repeats the same ol’ Fantasy Ireland guff from the 70s? Shouldn’t he develop a more nuanced and circumspect line of thinking?

PS. In the above, I conflated The Washington Post and The NYT and came up with the less well-respected, in-house rag for the MooniesThe Washington Times. Apologies for any distress this may have caused. (Thanks Jason Walsh for the heads up!)





Do you love me?

14 11 2009

Margaret Ritchie has asked me to be a Facebook fan of… Margaret Ritchie!

IMHO – the surge for fans should have happened before she declared. It might have underlined her position as a candidate with momentum, and also allowed a conversation to begin earlier.

Margaret has been on Facebook for a while. Had she triggered this before declaring for the leadership then her main motivation might have been genuine engagement. But triggering this after declaring is the self-promotion behind campaigning. Ah well.

(Having Margaret ask for her own fans looks a bit, erm, desperate doesn’t it? Someone else shoulda looked after this for her.)

Still, I like Margaret. Break a leg girl!

PS. But then I like Alastair McDonnell too. Margaret Ritchie or Alastair McDonnell? Mmm… there’s only way to sort this out. FIGHT!





Mammarial wobbling gives local organ a mighty column!

14 11 2009

Massive column: Robert McNeil

I once said that The Belfast Tottygraph makes Hustler look as tame as a well-thumped Chihuahua (Balls! passim). And so it continues!

The Tottygraph has a thrusting new columnist. So welcome on board Robert McNeil!

Robert has some preoccupations which, er, make him a perfect columnist for the Tottygraph! First up, in praise of some Morrissey lyrics and, well, take it away Robert…

“I was looking for a job/and then I found a job/and heaven knows I’m miserable now”; “I have just discovered — some girls are bigger than others”. These are excellent, the former explaining the unhappiness caused by employment, the latter conjuring up pleasing images of mammarial wobbling.

Read the rest of this entry »





Roll up bloggers (and lawyers), Orwell Prize opens for business!

4 11 2009

Orwell Prize is open for entries

The Orwell Prize 2010 has opened for entries. So roll up bloggers with your entries… and roll up m’learned friends for a fun day out with the Sunday Times.

Entries close on 20th January and the longlists (18 books, 12 journalists, 12 bloggers) will be announced on 24th March. The winners will be announced at the awards ceremony on 19th May and each will receive £3000 (to fund legal defences). The results of this year’s Sunday Times high court injunction will be announced sometime around June 2010.

So best of luck bloggers (… against Mr Justice Eady)!

PS. Northern Ireland’s very own Three Thousand Versts was one of the finalists last year – could he go all the way this year? And if anyone has been the earnest swot at the back of class bouncing on his seat shouting ‘Please sir over here’, then it’s Burke’s Corner. Someone please offer something to the little tyke – he’s studied really, really hard for this. Bless.





The biggest show in the country… brought to you by the SDLP!

31 10 2009

No wonder the Stephen Nolan Show is ‘the biggest show in the country’… it’s practically sponsored by the SDLP!!

I don’t know about you, but the SDLP Daily Dispatch email is my link to the outside world. It’s a series of links to news releases and messages from the Party HQ to people on their mailing list.

Suffice to say, if I need a serious hit of hard news I shoot up with the SDLP Daily Dispatch.

So what’s in this week’s consignment of extremely hard news?

Well, usual pow-wow about P&J and Sri Lankan refugee camps and… this:

Steven Nolan Show

We would once again encourage members to tune into the Steven Nolan show and ring up with views: CALL (9:00 – 10:30am) 0845 9555678.  SMS (9:00 – 10:30am) 81771.  EMAIL (anytime) nolan@bbc.co.uk

BBC Radio Ulster Talkback – talk.back@bbc.co.uk/08459555678 – It is always helpful for party activists to respond to issues and put across the SDLP position to such a widespread audience.

What?? The SDLP at the heart of a scandal to manipulate debates on the biggest show in the country!! But this is YOUR platform to bring YOUR stories to the BIGGEST show in the COUNTRY. And the SDLP are getting between YOU and YOUR stories. What will Nolan make of this? The show prides itself as the most unspun show on radio (is it?).

What happens when ordinary ol’ Joe Soap brings his story to the biggest to the country (and, erm, Talkback) – does he end up talking to a hoard of SDLP members and press officers? (Perish the thought.) Makes you wonder – when we tune in, are we getting the authentic voice of the great NI public?

Can this explain the fact that Carmel Hanna is never off the radio but is otherwise invisible?

Bloody Stoops are everywhere. Where will it end? I’m playing it safe an’ whipping out the ol’ tin foil helmet. Manipulate that SDLP!





Bobballs on Bloggtalk talking balls!

31 10 2009


Bloggers Alan in Belfast, no gloss just Matt and, erm, meself discussed the availability of public data on the Internet, the Trafigura affair and its exposure on blogs and joint statement by the SDLP and UUP about education. Also featured is an interview with Slugger O’Toole’s Mick Fealty.

Clever editing (high fives Carl!) means I don’t look too much a prat, but if I sound a prat that’s all my own fault…

Oh, and if you are a blogger (and particularly a laydee blogger), get involved by e-mailing Carl (carl AT northernvisions DOT org).





Review of Soldiers’ Stories – History channel documentary…

26 10 2009

This year is the 40th anniversary of the start of Operation Banner – the deployment of British troops to Northern Ireland. During this 40-year period up to 300,000 soldiers served here – from this number1,300 would be killed and 6,000 injured.

To mark this, the History Channel has put together an hour and a half long documentary ‘Soldiers’ Stories – Northern Ireland’, which screens tonight at 9pm. Some excerpts of the interviews with ex-army can be seen here.

It’s a pretty accomplished piece of work that gives the squaddie’s perspective. The accounts are harrowing – descriptions of bomb blasts and their aftermath; the riots; firefights, snipers etc. It also captures the fear involved in the everyday, unspectacular stuff which didn’t make the news or the history books.

The accounts are engaging and highly personal – the mix of types of interviewee offers good insight (ie. bomb disposal, RAMC, squaddies, NI regiments). Presenter Ken Hames (not someone I’ve come across before) is an ex-army officer who served eight tours here and his script is very much in sympathy with those who also shared that experience. His narration is another element to the soldiers’ story.

All in all, it’s insightful stuff and a valuable contribution to oral history and accounts of what happened here over four decades.

There’s an awful lot of material circulating on the Troubles but the quality and honesty of the interviews adds new perspective. Tonight at 9pm on History.





Unite Against Hate event…

21 10 2009

As always these days, no time to blog properly – just time to post up on upcoming event this Saturday…

Unite Against Hate are holding a special event at Northumberland “peace wall” gates on October 24 from 2:45pm. Over 250,000 Peace Poles have been planted in conflict zones throughout the world, yet not one exists in Northern Ireland. A Peace Pole will be erected between the gates in Northumberland Street at a ceremony lasting c.15 minutes (Naomi Long & Patricia Lewsley wil be there plus others). On Sat evening will be a ‘United in Hope’ community concert with the Waterford Omagh Peace Choir – this takes place in the City LIFE Centre in Northumberland Street @ 7.30 pm.

Thought it worth mentioning…





Fabric of universe threatened by DRD Committee…

15 10 2009
Rm 21, Stormont

The scene in Room 21 yesterday

Everyone remembers the Large Hadron Collider at CERN. It’s that place in Switzerland where millions of dollars have been spent replicating the effect of a Black Hole.

Sure, you can build on a 27 km ring of thousands of superconducting magnets designed to boost the energy of two beams of particles so that they can be collided into each other at close to the speed of light. You can do all that if you like… or you can just go to a DRD Committee meeting. There was an awe-inspiring Black Hole in the second half of its agenda on Wednesday afternoon.

This was what the DRD Committee had scheduled yesterday between 11.10am and 12.40pm.

11.10 am – 11.30 am          …. … Written evidence from the Northern Ireland Authority for Utility Regulation. (NONE)

12.00 pm – 12.10 pm          Marine Strategy Framework Directive: Written briefing on the implications for Regional Development. (NONE)

12.10 pm – 12.15 pm            Land identified for abandonment and disposal: Quarterly update. (NONE)

12.15 pm – 12.25 pm            Committee response to DRD on the Accessible Transport Strategy Action Plan. (NONE)

12.25 pm – 12.40 pm           Subordinate legislation. (NONE)

None? Mmmm. And some people used to think black holes are unobservable. But there it is – an observable phenomenon occurring intermittently between 11.10am and 12.40pm at Wednesday October 14. (The nano-hamsters are emailing NASA as we speak!)

Also, I was drawn to this explanatory note attached in the agenda:

 (Please note these timings are indicative)

It gives you a glimpse into how bureaucracy works – you must indicate the quantity of time required for 11 MLAs and a couple of clerks to discuss precisely nothing (just in case you run over?).

Eg. Discussing no subordinate legislation? Could be 15 minutes, might over-run to 20 minutes. Discussing no written briefing on the implications for Regional Development within the Marine Strategy Framework? Mmmm… 10 minutes? 5 minutes? 2o minutes? 

A vortex of nothingness where time is meaningless and which permits no energy nor anything bright to escape can be called a Black Hole… or a DRD Committee (depending on whether you’re a astro-physicist or a politics geek).

In truth, this kind of phenomenon has been occurring all over Stormont. If the LEGISLATIVE ASSEMBLY were to produce more LEGISLATION, then the committees would be able to scrutinise it and agendae would fill up with work.  

But this also shows us one other thing - MPs aren’t the only people wasting tax-payers money. Those boffins in Switzerland are havin’ a laff. You can observe the terrifying power of the Black Hole without all that hoo-ey about magnets – all it costs a plane ticket and a taxi ride to Stormont. I demand an investigation.





Bobballs’s big links!

11 10 2009
  1. For Chrissakes big business, stop sending me freebees and money and stuff for the kids. Dontcha know it’s against US law to bribe bloggers! At Bobballs we will not bow before the corporate dollar – I mean, you really don’t need me to tell you that Lexus offers world-beating engineering and unmatchable customer service. That goes without saying.  (You’re fired. Ed.)
  2. On the same subject, The Guardian says you shouldn’t need to regulate for commonsense. And The Washington Times wonders how on earth the FTC are going discriminate between blogger, journalist and broadcaster…
  3. Real Clear Politics has a decent round up of the Obama Peace Prize fiasco (when Heat awarded Tony Blair ‘Torso of the Week’ it was marginally more credible). Neat job Barry!
  4. Obama’s services to world peace may be questionable but his services to comedy endure. I like this from the Huffington Post. Barry’s got some of the best gag writers out there – this was one of the finest stand up routines of the past 12 months
  5. Oh, and who ya calling baboon, Clarkey? Irish Times Screenwriter whinges its way toward a bloooog. Sure, very self-aware and conspicuously smug – though I think I might just prefer Megan Fox’s rockin’ ass… but make your own mind up!